One day a young father was shopping in a crowded super-market. His three-year old son was with him. The little boy was riding in the grocery cart and he was misbehaving terribly and causing all kinds of problems.
Every time the father would put something into the cart, the little boy would grab it and throw it back out. If the cart went close to the shelves, the three-year old boy would just rake stuff off onto the floor. At one point, the little boy crawled out of the cart and ran down the aisle knocking over every display he could get his hands on, with his father in hot pursuit.
People who were in the store at the time could hear the father saying out loud over and over: Just be patient, Tommy. It won’t be much longer Tommy.
It’ll be O.K., Tommy. Be calm, Tommy. Hang in there, Tommy.
Finally, a distinguished looking woman came up to the man and she said: I just want to compliment you. I’ve been watching you and I want you to know that I admire you and the remarkable patience you have with little Tommy.
O, but Lady, the man said. You don’t understand. His name is Michael. I’m Tommy!
It’s a cute story but one with a remarkable point – if there is ever to be change in others, we must concentrate on change within ourselves first. It is what I refer to as the first principle of the gospel challenge – Jesus was always, always preaching the need for metanoia – a Greek word that simply means to turn around in the other direction. Jesus meant that each person needed to turn around and not wait for others. Metanoia was a personal event, and metanoia was a decision that each person had to make, and mostly metanoia had to begin with the one standing before Jesus. That’s why Jesus spoke about not speaking of the splinter in your neighbor’s eye until you removed the plank from your own; why he reprimanded the Pharisees for their attitudes of judgment; why he made personal demands like come and follow me – and stand up and live – and go and sin no more. For Jesus it always began with the individual. In short, metanoia starts with me!
This is I think the hardest lesson of life to learn. Every day we watch the news and complain about the thoughtlessness and wastefulness of corporations like BP – and certainly it is right to hold them accountable – but what is even more challenging is to examine our own thoughtlessness and wastefulness when it comes to the world around us. Do we consume in extravagant ways? Do we care for the world around us? Do we waste food, and fuel and water? Every day we judge our celebrities for shallow lifestyles- and while it is not wrong to have strong opinions, it’s even more challenging to look at our own lives. Are we faithful to our spouses? Do we balance our lives in healthy ways? Do we control our own egos? Every day we condemn the violence in the world – and we should be aware of violence – but we should be even more aware of the violence in our lives. Do we use violent language? Do we exercise forgiveness? Are we working for peace in our families and relationships?
Jesus was concerned with metanoia – turning around in the other direction. Metanoia is a personal decision that each of us needs to make every day. Metanoia is not first about others. Metanoia begins with me.